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В свете постигания английского прочитал книжку-подборку английских и американских анекдотов для начального чтения. Должен сказать, подборка так себе, смешного там мало. Но тройку призеров все-таки выделил, привожу их здесь:

An old man walks into a church, and goes for a confession (исповедь). The priest pulls back the window, and the old man says: “Forgive me father, for I have sinned (согрешил). I am 80 years old and I was walking home from the library the other day and two college girls stopped their car and said they were on spring break and  needed directions and we got into a discussion and they offered to drive me home and on the way one of them asked me the last time I’d had sex and I told them it had been years and she said would I like to have some fun and before I knew it the three of us were in my apartment and I had the most magnificent sex for two nights and the day between and they’re still there waiting for me and promised they’d show me things I never even knew a man and woman could do. And that’s why I’ve come to confession.”
And the priest asks, “When was the last time you went to confession?”
And the old man says, “Actually, this is the first time.”
And the priest says, “You’re 80 years old and this is your first confession? Why now?”
And the old man says, “Because I’m Jewish.”
And the priest asks, “In that case, why are you telling me?”
And the old man says, “I’m telling everybody!”

Three friends were at the bar talking, and after many rounds of beer, one of them suggests that everyone admits something they have never admitted to anyone.
“Okay,” says the first, “I’ve never told anybody I’m a gay!”
The second confesses, “I’m having an affair with my boss’s wife.”
The third, Moishe, begins, “I don’t know how to tell you…”
“Don’t be shy,” the two friends said.
“Well,” says Moishe, “I can’t keep secrets”

Bernie is a very wealthy man indeed. One day in June, he goes on holiday with his latest, much younger girlfriend, Sarah. As the days in the sun wore on, Bernie and Sarah began to talk about the differences in their ages and interests between them.
Bernie took this opportunity to ask Sarah what was, to him, an important question. He asked, “If I lost everything, all my money, my mansion, my Rolls Royce, tomorrow, would you still love me, Sarah?”
“Yes, darling,” said Sarah, “and I’d miss you too”